If you would have asked me on October 1, 1999, how I was going to get out of the mess I was in, I would NOT have answered: “God”.

I had faith in him and spoke to him daily, being an unsaved gentile was not my problem. Believing that with my salvation came an abundance of love and grace, now there; there was my problem.

I suspect if I had known how God was going to teach me this lesson, I would have uttered a hearty, “No thanks!” I was a married woman, even though my husband had left, a casualty of financial stress.  He wasn’t ready for the class I was enrolled in. No condemnation to him, a student must be ready to learn.

“You are to be out of the house by October 31, 1999!”. The banker’s words pounded like a hammer. I knew he was serious, after all, I had been watching him drive every vehicle and piece of equipment we had to earn a living down the road for the past week. There was no denying his words or his intent.

What I did not know was where I was going to go or how. To move requires two things, a place to rent and money to pay said rent. I had neither.

I spent the first week of that month begging and pleading with God. Heaven felt like a ping pong table  and my prayer’s the ball, bouncing right back to me. I  began the slow and painful process of learning. This week’s lesson: Perseverance.

The second week was grueling, as I realized God was telling me to ‘let go’. You might think that was an easy thing to do, seeing how I really had nothing to hold on to, but I fought this. I spent hours before him, begging, bargaining, and bawling. Going to bed every night with my bible over my face and sleeping very little. This week’s lesson: Surrender.

The third week rolled in like a train, this is when God broke me, shattering me into a million pieces of pottery. This is when he asked me to pray for the people that would be getting all I was losing, my home. OUCH! Sitting at my desk staring out the window tears began to roll down my face as I opened my hands and lifted them up to him. Take it, take it all, I  am done. I was spent like the last dollar in the checking account. Bless them Lord, bless them well. This week’s lesson: Dying to Self.

The beginning of the fourth week was excruciating. The banker made sure he called me again to inform me if I was not out on the 31^st, he would be moving me and my two sons to the street. I had not packed a box, not because I was lazy, but because I had no idea where I was going to go. Depression had set in and I had very little energy to get through the day, let alone pack. This week’s lesson: Trust

Now we arrive to the last week, specifically; Saturday, October 30^th, 1999. No need to look that date up to remember the day, it is burned into my memory like 9/11. A friend of mine showed up with her two teenage daughter’s and some boxes. She was going to help me pack ready or not, and that is what we began doing. Little did I know, this day I was about to meet God head on.

I still remember everything and the sweet hour of 11 A.M… My phone rings, I answer, a sister of a friend is on the other line. She informs me that in her prayer time that morning, God had impressed on her to wire me $3,000 and wanted to know where to wire it. I was speechless, my hands shaking as I held the phone as the words came out, ‘are you serious?’ She assured me she was sure, but said right now we must get busy, she lived in Mountain Time Zone, which is one hour earlier than mine, this means the banks are getting ready to close where I am. Finding my check book, I gave her my routing and account number and thanked her profusely. I now had money, still no house to rent; but if nothing else my sons and I can go to a motel.

Now the clock strikes 3 P.M. that same day. I am vacuuming and scrubbing the cupboards out while my friend was getting ready to leave, when I hear a knock on my door. There stood two ladies I was not real familiar with, but knew them, saying to me, “we were walking today and happened to go down Lincoln Street and nailed to a tree is a cardboard sign saying, ‘For Rent’”. I was blown away after all that had already happened. I took the number and immediately called it to find the voicemail was in Spanish. I left my information but was not real sure the person receiving it would understand what I said.

Tick tock and the clock strikes 5 P.M. that same day. My phone rings and it is a young girl of the lady’s phone I had called about the house for rent. She was interpreting for us, me to her mother and vice versa. The mother agreed to show me the house at 6:30 P.M. that night. I was elated! She warned me that I needed to bring a flashlight as the lights had been turned off by prior tenant and would need to be turned on in my name if I wanted to rent it.

So, with my trusty flashlight I go and look at this house and signed the contract that night. Believe me when I say that any of this day, the hours of God’s intervention, the time slots, all of it up to using a flashlight. None of this was lost on me.

I had a place to go, I had money to pay rent, and I had an extremely thankful heart. I had my first night’s real sleep in a month that night.  This week’s lesson: Redemption.

I also learned the words love and grace in depths of my heart I did not know existed. This crazy sort of love that does not come with a price tag. No berating my wrongs or mishaps, or stones thrown before the pardon, just a sweet invitation, come to Me.

Now, the rebuild. I had a great deal to learn, and some bad habits to unlearn. What is important to hear is that I did not have it all together before God came to my aid. In fact the opposite. God met me where I was and we moved on from there. This season’s lesson: Sanctification.

That is Agape, that is the heart of this ministry. A cloudy mirror attempting to show the heart of God for his people. A love that extends a hand into the depths of pain, missteps, and blunders and says: ‘Follow Me.’

-Marsha Mars